children laughing, people passing.

children laughing, people passing,
meeting smile after smile,
and on every corner you'll hear-

silver bells, silver bells,
it's Christmas time in the city...

yay! christmas! (was approximately 3 days agooo...) sorry i'm a little late with this post, i haven't been on the computer a whole lot this past week. so. my christmas was pretty good, how was yours? :D we didn't do the scary movie thing again this year, which puts and end to what i was hoping was going to be the 2nd annual christmas scary movie experience. oh well, we'll try again next year. instead we drove my grandma up to a little bar & grill in BlueEarth, South Dakota. Ever heard of it? no, me either. we met up with my uncle, aunt and 3 cousins to exchange presents and well... grandma, so that we could hang with our relatives and grams could get up to Winona, Minnisota without us having to drive her the whole way. it was fun there. except we had to vegitate for 30 mins before we could even order our food because they had to start up the ovens and wait for them to get hot. no biggy though, they opened just for us. on christmas day. nice people in ol' BlueEarth...

you see the picture in the post below this one? with the kid crying? my mom printed that off and put it in a huge, expensivly nice, black glass picture frame and game it to my aunt as a christmas present. she loved it.

speaking of presents, not to be conceited or anything, but here's a list of what me and my family got for presents ourselves...

Me
gray/black striped cardigan
slipper socks w/ pandas
4 scarves
dark gray pea coat
black cadet hat
treasu(red) v-neck
Emery poster
magnetic healing braclet
gap giftcard
comforter
past famous photographs of "Life" magazine
supernatural season 3
Fall Out Boy- Folie a' Deux
Batman: The Dark Knight
Animal Crossing: City Life
earfones

Ron
zigzag wallet
striped sweater
billabong windbreaker/jacket
Emery- The Question (i'm totally jacking it...)
"undergarments"
Zunehom
How I Met Your Mother Season 2
How I Met Your Mother Season 3
Hot Topic giftcard
(other stuff...)

Brandi
Monopoly: World Edition
DS Lite
an awesome scarf that she doesn't take off (quess who that's from XD)
(other stuff...)

Family
Pictionary Man
Crazy Tunes Puzzle

fyi, the only reason i have more stuff listed is because i remember all of mine. haha mom makes sure we all get the same amount of stuff.

so, i hope everyone had wonderful holidays and i have great wishes for everyone in the new year! make your resolutions good...

love, lissa!

p.s.
my uncle David rocks! (lol, he told me to tell everyone that...)

p.p.s.
my ipod is back! well okay, its not MY ipod, but its a newly refurbished one that they traded in for free because mine sucked! yay! i'm so glad i have portable music again...

i guess i'm 16.

so... i guess i'm 16. 16 years, 3 days, 6 hours and 18 minutes to be relativly exact. weird huh? i don't feel older, but do you ever? november 27 was a lot of things. thanksgiving, my sweet 16, macy's... but all rolled into one made each seem a little less spectacular. i'm still wondering where my birthday went. where thanksgiving went. where the parade that we traveled 30 hours to participate in went.

but it was great. new york was amazing and i'll prolly post a couple of pics from the top of the rock here. but i don't know... it WAS great, but it just wasn't AS great as you would expect. its dirty, really dirty. and smelly... and the people are rushing rushing everywhere, going this way, going there. (nice little rhyme, i know.) i think i said once when we were walking down broadway, that tourists are the best new yorkers. we actually spend the time looking up. the buildings there are amazing- probably the best part, and it seems the only people that pay them attention are the people that don't spend their lives rushing between them. i felt completely comfortable walking down the street. i could see myself doing that quite often, though i'm not completely sure i wouldn't get lost. but i would never, ever live there. san fransisco was better XD

the actual parade was hard. obviously. your shoulders started burning by the 40 minute mark to the point where you could barely hold them up long enough for one song. by the end it was nearly impossible. spit was dripping down your chin and you're hoping to God no camera is zoomed in on your face. you have a ton of things to watch out for like front-to-back lines, side-to-side lines, feet (toes), horn angles, the ground so you don't trip, and playing all of the right fingerings even if you can't get sound to come out. it was tough. and yet it felt like it was over in a matter of minutes. after all of the work that we put into the preparation for this thing, and it was over so fast. it was hard to believe. i still don't think it's hit me.

but it was totally worth it. here are some pics for your entertainment: :D


(i don't think this needs an introduction. can i just say that it was completely not what i was expecting? on the ferry over it looked short, fat and green. it was supposed to be tall and imposing and comforting and amazing and huge. i suppose it was at one time. and it was for me at first. but after a while it just became a statue.)


(one taken off the "Top of the Rock.")


(a little kid on a leash crying outside of central park. :} )


(another picture taken off the "Top of the Rock.")

chain letters at 11:00p.m.

not gunna lie? today hasn't been a very good one. i've grown to hate complaining. people have problems of their own, i don't need to bother them with mine. but sometimes its nice to have someone to listen to my random thoughts. maybe i'll have my own "no one of consiquence" to view this sad excuse for a blog post while roaming the internet? maybe. funny word, maybe. i always think i'm spelling it wrong... heck, maybe i am. anyway, i like being the ear to talk off, or the shoulder to lean on, or the eyes to watch out. i like to think that people can trust me, but i'm not completely convinced that this always goes both ways. i don't completely hate this thought. emotions can be too... messy. they make people look at you different. like that monday at lunch... people who were there know what i mean. i don't know what happened, but everything just seemed to... gang up on me that day. i cracked. but it really showed me that people are there for me, and care, and i guess i needed that. it was a day kind of like today. so far i'm fine... but its the first time that i feel like i don't have anyone to talk to. (dramatic i know... sorry.)

it started with a dream. one of those horribly vivid, surreal dreams that you can completely remember when you wake up, and even connect to whats going on in your life. they suck, fyi. well, at least this one did... i'm not going to go into the sucky details, but there was one line i remember saying right before the dream ended, "it's just that... this is something that i imagined with someone else, and now that person is gone and i'm... lost." interpret as you will, you're never going to guess. X) it was a layered dream for sure. with people who acted exactly like themselves (while some represented other people), a big house that isn't my house, but WAS my house. a room that looked like how my room should. big open windows that looked out on a forest. long hallways with dark reds and teals... a ceiling fan with a burned out light bulb. so much. sounds great, but wasn't. it was awkward and seriously... messed. me. up. when i woke, i could remember it. i almost reflexivly closed my eyes to get back but forced myself to get up when my phone vibrated. my day started with a text.

the group went to HSM3 with brandi. i stayed home because i... didn't feel good. i haven't been able to stop thinking about New York, and the "evening activities" for November 27. which seem so insignificant to everyone but me. so much can happen if i let my new 16 year old self do something about it. i guess we'll see, right? yeah. less than two weeks away. so much can happen.

big news for today? i cut my own hair while they were at the movie. don't freak, apparently its not noticable, considering no one noticed. haha. i just cut the bangs. i figured "heck, if i mess it up i have a haircut in a week right?" i actually like it though. XD a very spontaneous moment on my part. kinda fun.

anyway, i think i'm done. :D

*peace out, girl scouts! cya on the flipside...*

vote "circumstance" for 11

i hate politics sometimes. even at during school or in after school activities that people participate in, we are bombarded with people telling us what to vote for, what to think. yes or no. black or white. like the "vote yes for 11" thing. its seems like a good thing to vote for. you're pro-life. pro-"new" life. but the thing is, people aren't always told the little details. they don't always read the fine print. if you vote yes for 11 you are voting for the woman to be forced into carrying a still born to full-term, knowing the whole time that her baby is dead. If she were raped by a family member as an adult, she would be forced to have the child... or as a minor she would have to sit through a lengthy trial to prove incest and rape. its just black and white- there is no gray with cause. either you vote yes for the mom to make a choice (whether for the baby to live or not), or you vote yes for the baby to live, no matter the circumstances. either way, you are pro-life. this is something that really started confusing me. up until today i never really gave it much thought, but i wanted to know more after i saw a couple of people on facebook joining a "vote No for 11" club. if you ask me, both make sence. i am pro-life. but there are circumstances. if the pregnacy was your fault then you should have to carry the pregnacy full term. but if there was a complication or a circumstance that would make it... wrong to do so, then you shouldn't have to. even the bible can't argue with that.

irondale & buttonhoff.

just yesterday we had a marching compition at irondale in minnisota. it was a good show. me improved on somethings, and we had trouble with others, and we really tried. we put ourselves out there. but even after that, we took a huge step back from our show in marshell a full week ago. i'm not saying that i'm ashamed or dissapointed, but this really shouldn't be happening. we are good, not to toot our own horns, but we are. we have so much potential in every member of the band, we just have to work harder and harder to show it. i almost feel a personal regret. like its somehow my fault that we didn't do our best... i tried. obviously everyone tried. and i don't remember a thing about the show, just the crowd's overwhelming responce to the inverted triangle. i was hopeful. rosemount is good. and they won, and they diserved to win. but there's that feeling, ya' know? the feeling that everyone's talking about. the "...we won," feeling, that no freshman or sophmore of the Lincolh High School Marching band has felt. this was our last real chance to prove ourselves. now all we have to do is improve ourselves. i think this guilty feeling comes when i think about the seniors. this is their last year, and i kinda wanted them to have that feeling one more time before they leave. they know what its like, sure, but its a feeling that you crave after having it once. i wanted them to feel it again, and i wanted to feel it for the first time. but am i dissapointed in our band? no. not really. we tried. now we just have to try again.

nuff said.

i don't really have anything to blog about, but i feel like i'm getting pressured into it by all of my amazing friends that update theirs quite regularly. wouldn't want to let anyone down... first topic! i have rediscovered my love for jensen ackles and jared leto. i could continue on that topic because they are both so freakin' amazing, but i'll spare you. new subject. facebook! endless hours of fun i tell you. if you don't have one, you should get one. i don't care what anyone says, it so much better than myspace- its just that people hate to admit it. i'm not sure why... doesn't matter to me, i have one of each. i could actually spend hours a day on facebook taking random quizzes that mean absolutely nothing and quite possibly lie right to your face (heard of dade, anyone?). still they're fun. why, just today i found out that i am a normal thinker, have a squeaky clean mind (HA!), and am a chilled out mommy. who knew?!?!

almost at the point of *unfair smoldering* don't you think?

hehehe nuff said.

signmyspool.org

i don't know about you, but i am definately looking forward to the long weekend- mostly sleeping in. i will be perfectly happy if i never have to wake up before 6am ever again in my life. its just not worth it... marching band is fun and all, but the whole "controlling ever aspect of your life" thing i will not miss next year. enough about that- lets talk about the fun stuff! school! *gag* i am so going to fail. chemistry is getting confusing- and having mr. bechard doesn't help. i swear i wore a trail in the chemistry room floor going from my seat to his desk. it makes me feel stupid having to ask all of these questions. hes nice an all, but really boring and doesn't explain all that well. and then there is always allgebra 11, which for the first time ever actually got hard today. stupid graphing with the stupid absolutes. oh and if those two classes fail to ruin my life, my hopes and dreams can still be crushed by the boot of accelerated english 11. it seems simple in essence, but wow. she expects specific things and i might having trouble complying in the following year... i guess we'll see. uhg. wish me luck!

xoxo

Schedule

SEMESTER 1
Early History of Mankind- Morrison
Algebra 11- Timmerman
Acc English 11- Klawonn
Design- Beilke
Lit Lab/Lunch- Klawonn* (i have no idea what "lit lab" is and i can garrentee that i did NOT sign up for it...)
Concert Band- C.
Chemistry- Bechard

SEMESTER 11
Algebra 11- Timmerman
Speech- Hayes
Chemistry- Bechard
Lit Lab/Lunch- Bull*
Web Page Design- Wooledge
Acc English 11- Klawonn
Varsity Band- Carlson*


well that should be an exciting year. lunch with nobody, classes with nobody... just another year at lincoln.

*- needs to be changed.

...sun.

after being in the sun for 8 hours a day, you really start to get peeved when you look up to the sky and you see that clear blue. any day its raining or cloudy (like people would expect from a place such as, oh i dont know, Forks Washington?) most people would look around and say, "wow, this is a really crappy day." marching band members on the other hand think its the best day ever. i'm not even going to go into details, but now more then ever, i wish i was pale (...still). i hate the sun. too bad we need it to live...

on a brighter note: twilight. ome. i guess you could say its an obsession... i love everything about it- and if i ever got the chance to meet stephanie meyer i can garentee you that my life would be severly different from that day forward, not to mention the flabergasted stuttering that would ensue. she is one of my (many) rolemodels. i hate to say it, but the only thing that is going through my head during marching band is, "twilighttwilighttwilighttedwardcullenwilighttwilightbellatwilighttwilighttwilighttwilighttwilighttwilightihatethesuntwilighttwilight." no joke. i often find myself looking around for someone who i dunno, glitters in the sunlight? its driving me insane. but i i'll live... hopefully.

until later,
[lissa] xoxo

i'm back!

for those of you who didn't know, i just spent a week in san fran-freakin-sisco with my church. it was one of the best, most eye opening couple of days i think i have ever experienced in my life. there was so much going on, so much noise and so much movement that we were doing. each morning my group (which included others from Seattle, Southern California, and Montana) would spend each morning running a "day care" kind of thing for kids in the neighborhood. it was great, the kids were really amazing- and don't take this lightly because i can't usually stand kids. it was really hard to say goodbye to them, even the ones that would give you hell for the week and then give you a kiss on the cheek on the last day. it gives a whole new meaning to the saying, "sour, sweet, gone." every day after we ate lunch with the kids we would go out along ocean avenue and up to the food bank to sort through rotting produce to find fruit that is still good enough to give to people who can't afford to buy some of their own. we would be dancing around and singing and trying to come up with games to play so that it didn't seem so bad. it especially helped when we all got so jolted up that we were shaking and couldn't stay in the same place for more then a second (see my facebook profile picture) :D. overall it was an amazing week, and i met amazing people that i will never forget, and hopefully they won't forget me.

places we visited:
golden gate bridge
alcatraz
fisermans warf
ghirridelli square
the ocean
the food bank
the ymca
chinatown
alamo square
the mall (i can't remember the name exactly...)

p.s.
van parties rock!

what is the most played Across The Universe song on my ipod? Revolution.

wtf? where have i been?!?!?!

look who's back! ahhhhhh! i know i scared you with my sudden appearence. its quite unannounced. haha anyways, there hasnt' been that much going on with me since my last post. summers pretty boring (as usual) and i can't wait for school to start once again- but that's not really a good topic of converestation.

i went up to lake vermillion with my family for sam's birthday, which was pretty fun. i counted 14 bruises on my legs from the tube, not to mention tube burn and alge going places it shouldn't. but it was fun. the cake was really good, i never knew eating wall-e would be so tasty. hm. what else... well right now i'm trying to get limewire to stop throwing a hissy so i can download some songs, a couple of which are, believe it or not, from camp rock. it was surprisingly good. i even hung up a jonas brothers poster in my room, right next to green day and jared. he had a whooping 3 pages in the new "child stars" edition of people. check that shit out.

the posse came over last night and we all sat down to watch the Black Parade is DEAD! dvd. it was soooooo amazing. the posse was talking about how awesome the concert that they went to was and all i could think was "wow, i really missed out." of course i wasn't really friends with any of the posse when they went. the whole time i was watching the dvd i was amazed and shocked and a little bit sad. that was their last concert on this tour, meaning even if i did make it to a concert when they start again, i wouldn't hear all of these songs played live. that sucks. the whole thing was pretty sweet though, we saw two concerts actually- techically 1 and a half. after the credits for the first concert came a part of a second. after mexico they went home to Hobokan, NJ and completely rocked out. it was cool.

okay. limewire still isn't working. that's really starting to piss me off. uhg. it did this last night too... i think i'm about done for this post though, like i said, there wasnt' much to say. haha i'll try and post more often though...

luffles!
once again,

[.lissa.]

p.s.
F.T.W. fuck the what? jeez frank...


what is the most played My Chemical Romance song on my ipod? Discenchanted.

you paint my world

wow i haven't posted in a while. not much has happened in the past week though. more problems with the van of course, but thats old news. i've been txting like crazy too, since mel just got a fone. I'M FREAKIN' EXCITED for the panic! concert. duh. i do of course still have to get my tickets. i'm pretty sure we're doing that later today. we just got a grill. that was horrible in every way possible. so much went wRONg. the food tastes great though. uhg... my eyes hurt after playing rock band for 5 hours yesterday. i'm proud to say that i can almost pass any song on hard. WOOT WOOT! well, i guess i don't have that much to talk about besides that. summer's pretty boring when you have no life...

feel the summer wind

well... i guess it's summer. i'm sure that i will wake up tomorrow at 8 in the morning and freak out thinking that i'm going to be late for school. it really hasn't hit me that school's over. i actually enjoyed it this year and i really want to hold onto the memories. i can't help but think that some moments from this year might mean more to me then others, and when they think back to the school year i'll just be "another person" and not anyone of consequence. at least that's what it feels like sometimes. anyway, i'm going to miss school, even the learning part. besides, summer seems too long when you don't have a life.

i know that i need to stop getting all "deep" and emotional during these posts, but i've just realized something very important. very recently i've had some problems with my faith. i no longer have that "child-like innocence" where you can believe in everything without proof. i'm always watching and listening and sometimes what i find can make it harder to believe. trust me, i want more than anything to believe in God, someone that is always there watching out for you and loving you and forgiving you. but i think the real reason that i haven't been able to really commit to the idea, no matter how many church services i attend, is because i'm afraid to set myself up for disappointment. when i die, there is supposed to be this wonderful place where i will go and i will live for eternity with God and Jesus and my grandpa and my dad... but i can't help wondering what will happen if that place doesn't exist. you don't even know how hard it is for me to type this, no matter how fast my fingers are going. i hate that i have this doubt in me, like a stone in my heart that's always there and weighing my down so that i can't float through life like the people around me. but that place is all that i could ever ask for, and i have no clue what would happen if when i die, i have to face eternity alone without that.

sorry for the sadness, but its just something that needs to be said. i'll try not to darken your days any more with sad posts, haha. well, i need to go, i'm leaving tomorrow morning for Winona MN and i've been to bed really late all week. i'll try to be a happier poster from now on. :D

1st Class Understatement

so, i guess today was the day the luck ran out. i'm not going to get too detailed about things, but maybe a list of the misfortunes in our 3 hour errand run will help. i actually find it kinda funny, so i'm not complainging. it makes my life a little more interesting.

- i'm not sure if i'm going to pass geometry with a good grade...
- the posse are experiencing some technical difficulties.
- brandi shut my foot in the van door
- the door broke
- the automatic door made loud screeching noises (like the subwoofer)
- because brandi needs braces, we might find it hard to buy some things. like many types of food.
- this means my plan of eating healthier kinda goes down the drain, since the only cheap food is junk food.
- i almost cried in the grocery store because i once again came to the conclusion that america is fucking stupid.
- i feel bad about our money problem because i just spent my 170 confirmation dollars on just myself.
- while carrying a twelve pack of green tea to the door, i dropped it twice; once on the ground and once on my foot.

and that's only what happened today. i could also mention how the wind-sheild wiper on the van broke and of course the thing with the tire on ron's car yesterday. the only problem is, it's putting so much stress on mom that i get anxious whenever i look at her. yea, this is going to be a hard summer. i'm just hoping i can do something to help.

and the trap snaps shut.

well, that was the most interesting day in a while. not only did i aquire a new backpack, but i learned a little more about how people work, i realized some things about myself, and a little peice of metal sliced its way through the car tire and caused a flat. we pulled over, expecting a tree to fall on us or lightning to strike with the luck we've had in that car... and it only figures that all cell phone reception was momentarily out of whak. i ran halfway down the block trying to get those damned bars (which reminds me of those commercials now that i think about it. i should've looked around for some trees or i dunno people who were lined up from tallest to shortest), to no avail. i ran up the steps to the nearest house and rang the door bell. this old man answers the door and i tell him our how our car got a flat and how we have no cell phone reception and he looks around and he's like "hold on a moment and i'll go and fetch my cell phone." yeah. but for some reason, his worked and i got a hold of my mom's work at the exact time that ron got a hold of my mom on his cell. figures. so, with mom whipering words of wisdom, he proceeded to start to change the tire. me and courtney both realized at the same moment that all we could possibly do is get in the way of his progress- so we went on a walk. around the block, up to patrick and back. we talked a lot, and now i feel kind of bad about all that i know... when we got back ron was still working, but the guy that had lent me his phone had come out and helped, and sam was reading the handy dandy instruction manual on "how to change a tire." together they finished in in a matter of moments. moments from when my mom drove up that is. we stuffed all our junk in the car (and van. you have noticably less room when there's a tire in your truck) and drove back home, gripping the seats for dear life. that was our second "adventure" in that 2000 malibu's short time with us, the first being a lovely trip over an ice hill when the car lost control of the gas gage and steering. definatly the most excitment it awhile. anyone got anything to top that on the list of "we have no luck at all" moments?

mauve (noun) A moderate grayish violet to moderate reddish purple color.

so i guess the oral interp thing wasn't all that bad. the waiting was horrific, and so was being the last to go on the first day, and knowing that everyone is staring at you and watching you and waiting for you to either do unexpectedly great or unexpectedly bad, and knowing that you will be compared to the people that have gone before you and messing up and embaressing yourself and shaking with nerves the whole time... but other then that it wasn't all bad. i mean, watching them was pretty fun, right?

its kind of hard to believe that this school year only has 4 full days left. i guess i'm looking forward to being a sophmore (its not like its gunna feel much different). my only worry is that i a.) won't have lunch with anybody or b.) my classes suck butt and have a lot of homework and no entertaining people. i'm kind of looking forward to marching band, but not in a geeky way. the reasons being the trip through NJ to NY for Macys, and shopping (not in a superficial valley girl way) in the amazing shops there. it should be fun seeing all those people and doing all these things and having a big dinner with all of the band people on my birthday too. maybe it won't be as bad as it first seems being away from the fam then... i dunno, either way, there is no way that i would miss this. and going to hard rock cafe is a bonus. is anyone else getting as excited as i am? we only have to get through spat camp first...

this is a list of the classes that i signed up for next year, but i have no clue what teacher or what period i'll have them. i'll post that later, and if you have a blog you have to do it too. :D

Concert Band
Chemestry
Acc. English II
World History of Mankind
Algebra II
Design/Drawing (i'm not sure which)

have a good LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL PEOPLE! charish this moment because it only comes once a year. duh.

What color should I make my Blog?

i can not seem to find the right color combination for my blog, so as you can see above, i make a poll to ask what you guys think. you can post comments here if you chose "other," or if you just want to comment. keep in mind that i don't really want to change the header of my blog, but i could if i have to... and any color should be fine as long as its not pink. i need ideas, so please any input would be great. for the record mauve is totally a color. and it looks like this:

this is a tissue of lies...

personally, i've always liked thunderstorms. when i was just a little pink thing in my mommy's insides, my mom said i started kicking whenever there was thunder. and i'm telling you, it was not in fright. i don't really know what it is about them, i just love it to death. i could watch the rain fall for hours, though this usually easier when you're above ground. the rain was awesome last night, the tornado warning's that came with it, not so much. mom kinda freaked out and ushured me and brandi and the cats down to the basement. you never notice how bad a room smells until you are forced to be in there. i kept sneaking upstairs to take a breath of fresh air and watch the hail that was now pouring from the sky. man that stuff can bounce! i spent most of the hour texting people and looking at my dads old records. i'm glad it was over quick, but it was enough to freak out my sister...

(just so you know, what i'm about to say is pretty much completely pointless and very random. if you don't want to read it NAVIGATE AWAY FROM THIS PAGE NOW. for those of you just got very curious with what i had to say, feel free to read on.
so on the way home from school today, we were taking the usual route and all, but up ahead i saw this guy riding his bike. that might seem normal, but what i found funny was he was wearing a see-through garbage bag and smoking a cigarrette. he reminded me of "mohawk guy" from TDG, and he didn't even have hair.

just thought you should know...

THE SPILL CANVAS CONCERT WAS AMAZING! it was nice to meet people that have made it fairly big, and are infact from little ol' sioux falls. i guess we aren't as dead-beat as once thought. and we don't live in teepees.

opening bands:
Avery
We All Have Hooks for Hands

p.s.
apparently nick thomas stopped by my mom's work to buy crafts with his girlfriend. if you don't know who nick is, take a wild guess and you'll prolly get it right...

txt here, txt there...

so... i'm sitting here txting maddy and half watching reaper. i have (thankfully) finished my homework and should prolly be getting in the shower, but what's the fun in that? i just thought i'd update, because the first entertaining thing has happened around me since the lifelight tour concert. okay, we have had a laundry chute in our bathroom since we moved in, but we've never used it. now we know why. my sister just trying to send to some of her clothes do the great abyss down below (not hell, my basement) and the clothes got stuck halfway there. unfortunately this created a little bit of a pickle for the rekkedahl family. my mom was ticked off, my sister was ticked off (cuz she was ticked at) and my brother was ticked off at the world and every ticked off person in it. but, being the little problem solver that he is, he casually went outside (not with out some cursing), grabbed part of the "easy step" cinder-block that him and the posse had demolished after school, and sent it down the chute with thunderous booms. needless to say, the clothes came out, but i don't think we'll be using that method of laundry washing ever again. maybe we'll leave a note for the next family that moves in. keep them from getting any seemingly smart ideas...

[just a little visual reference for those of you "dunder heads" out there. now just imagine it in peices...]

Song of the Week

this is the lead singers thoughts on the song...

I'm not a theologian or a philosopher. I don't claim to know exactly how redemption works - I only know that it does work and that I want it to be working in my life. Sometimes people make the mistake of reading into lyrics. I honestly don't know a lot of the answers to these questions. There are three men that have inspired the lyrics to this album more then anyone else: David (my namesake, king, psalmist, failure), Jon Foreman and Clive Staples Lewis. There is a creature in one of C.S. Lewis' books that has these layers of scales that must be torn off in order to realize the intended life beneath the surface. Sometimes I feel like I need some scales torn off. Here is a bit from his essay 'The Weight of Glory' that describes the longing of my heart in 'Break': "in some sense, as dark to the intellect as it is unendurable to the feelings, we can be both banished from the presence of him who is present everywhere and erased from the knowledge of him who knows all. We can be left utterly and absolutely outside --repelled, exiled, estranged, finally and unspeakably ignored. On the other hand, we can be called in, welcomed, received, acknowledged. We walk every day on the razor edge between these two incredible possibilities. Apparently, then, our lifelong nostalgia, our longing to be reunited with something in the universe from which we now feel cut off, to be on the inside of some door which we have always seen from the outside, is no mere neurotic fancy, but the truest index of our real situation. And to be at last summoned inside would be both glory and honor beyond all our merits and also the healing of that old ache." (C.S. Lewis)



Break
Remedy Drive
Rip Open the Skies

you call me out I don’t hear a sound
you call me up but I’m on the ground
and I don’t want to be left outside
when you come to take your bride
you said you’d come to take your bride

you said you’d break the dawn
can you hear my song – how long
you said you’d break the day
can you hear me say – how long

under seven thunders one man fails
under seven layers of skin and scales
if i could touch the hem then i'd be made new
when the grass is wet with dew
i think the grass is wet with dew

you said you’d break the dawn
can you hear my song – how long
you said you’d break the day
can you hear me say – how long

i don’t want to banished-left outside
expelled repelled ignored denied- outside
castle walls stand so tall
i’ve heard a call but i’m on the fallen side outside

you said you’d break the dawn
can you hear my song – how long
you said you’d break the day
can you hear me say – how long

you said you’d break the dawn
can you hear my song – how long
you said you’d break the day
can you hear me say – how long

you said you’d break the dawn
can you hear my song – how long
you said you’d break the day
can you hear me say – how long

[http://www.remedydrive.com/music.htm]

tdg

i'm kinda frustrated with youtube for not letting me upload Nihilio, so heres a video of the TDG concert that it DID let me upload.

okay you know what? this video is kind of an eye sore and i'm attempting to make my blog look a alittle better so here's the link instead. :D

http://www.youtube.com/v/o1cDtLe24eo&hl=en

Song of the Week

I love this song...

Call It Karma
Silverstein
18 Candles: The Early Years

blame it on the weather, but i'm a mess
and this february darkness, has been hating everyone
and i know i give you comfort, but this trouble makes me sick
and the longer i lay here, i know it's harder to get up
without you

lose another day here
lose another year here
i'm with you

find me something out there, that's making sense
and it's just another trend carefully hidden in your dress
and the cycles neverending, and the fashions overdone
and the further that i run away, the further i'll come back
to shelter...

lose another day here
lose another year here
i'm with you

you are the fire, on my apartment floor
sixteen stories, i'd rather burn then fall
it isn't fate, that took us all by storm
it's just the turn of a card

lose another day here
lose another year here
i'm with you

you are the fire, on my apartment floor
sixteen stories, i'd rather burn then fall
it isn't fate, that took us all by storm
it's just the turn of a card

goodbye old friend
goodbye goodnight
i'll move on

you'll call it fate, i'll call it karma
we had our time, it was fun
while it lasted

i'll look back, with honor
and no regrets
i won't be mad, won't feel bad
these memories will never leave me
don't be sad
cause life goes on, life goes on
it's getting too late
tomorrow is here

nihilio

damn... sorry people, youtube is being an ass and won't let me upload Nihilio... i'll keep trying tho...

http://www.youtube.com/v/Os7iYzyx6lY

what goes on inside my head...

these are random things that go through my head during the day...

how many people have sat in this seat before me?
did they know about the gum?
what happened to choral and shaker dance I?
is mars really only 30 seconds away?
am i just a miniature of my mom?
why is jim so funny?
why did they ban ipods?
why is raspberry iced tea sooo good?
what is school food actually made of?
why isn't anyone suspisious of wallyberg?
does she have one of those mind erasers like in Men In Black?
why does the seating arrangment in bio have to keep changing?
any good movies this weekend?
poor jason... *giggles*
why does dusty have to step on the keyboard when i'm doing somethiastAAaACX

MOM'S BIRTHDAY

supper was great. four raspberry iced teas and i'm flying. metaphorically of course.

aftermath...

well, the concert was absolutely amazing. i am covered in brusies, can't really think straight and i'm trying very hard to forget the feeling of being pushed into large sweaty people w/o shirts. and my left eye's being kinda twitchy. but it's all good. all the bands were really great. just seeing my mom in the middle of a mosh was worth it. even if we did loose our spots at the front to go and get water... haha just for those who didn't know this, here's a band list. they added a band to start the show too...

Neverset
Seether
Breaking Benjamin
Three Days Grace

if you don't know them (which you most likely do), check them out *sigh* i have to go, i have things to do... (arent you curious?) i think i can... O YES! I CAN! here's a couple videos from the concert! enjoy

nvm i'll upload later

CONCERT TOMORROW!

erm... concert tomorrow! YAY!!!

hm...

so... not much going on. i guess i could talk about the car "incident," but i'm sure by now that all people who read my blog know by now. ask if you don't a guess. um, yea. we finished romeo and juliet last week. that was pretty special. i actually enjoyed watching it, hidden meanings and all. yeah, you know what i mean. i've spent quite a bit of time lately watching comedy acts on VOD. can i just say that EVERYTHING GETS DIRTY. its terrible. i've thought about stopping but... hehe, don't think like that (mel, kait), i fast-forward. there are also alot of concerts coming up that i'm hoping i will get to attend. the tickets that we have already purchesed for the TDG concert are housed in my mom's underwear drawer for the time being. that's one place brandi won't look. my cousins are in town (i still don't quite know why) and we rented some movies last night (across the universe + american gangster). we watched across the universe until 1135 last night. i wasn't tired at all. but you do tend to notice how long a movie is when you have to pee half way through. i didn't get up tho, i didn't want to miss anything. plus i was looking for Bono the whole time.

well, i'm gunna go and most likely play sims. maybe i could get someone to take me to plato's closet, even though i have no money. :D

xoxo [.liss.]

p.s. i am sad to mention that the posse are attending a funeral right now. sam's grandma passed away. keep them in your thoughts!

Song of the Week

last one i swear... i can't resist this one

The Kill
30 Seconds to Mars
A Beautiful Lie

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do? (Oh, oh)
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you (from you)

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.

Ah, ah
Oh, oh
Ah, ah

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you.
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

Come break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)

(You say you wanted more)
What if I wanted to break...?
(What are you waiting for?)
Bury me, bury me
(I'm not running from you)
What if I
What if I
What if I
What if I
Bury me, bury me

hm... seems shorter then it used to




[just for your entertainment]

Song of the Week

Williamsburg
Armor for Sleep
Smile for Them

Hold your own jacket please
I'm not in the mood
Millions of trains under the ground
This city was the blueprint for hell

Passed out, sleeping at your party
Dream of leaving in the morning
You will all die in Williamsburg
Too hip to even clean your nose out
Your grave is pulling at your pants now
You will all die in Williamsburg

Bored again
Watching the rats
Eat all your food
At least you'll be used to
The place you'll be soon
This city was the blueprint for hell

Passed out, sleeping at your party
Dream of leaving in the morning
You will all die in Williamsburg
Too hip to even clean your nose out
Your grave is pulling at your pants now
You will all die in Williamsburg

Do you know how obvious you are?
You were born in New Hampshire
but you say you're from the O.C.
Brooklyn's a death bed
For clones of the same kid
Stuck in the party
That was lame to begin with
Yeah, yeah lame to begin with

At least you'll be used to
The place you'll be
This city was the blueprint for hell

Passed out, sleeping at your party
Dream of leaving in the morning
You will all die in Williamsburg
Too hip to even clean your nose out
Your grave is pulling at your pants now
You will all die in Williamsburg

You will all die

Song of the Week

i have no clue how long it's been since i did a song of the week, so i might just do however many i feel like. :D i'll start with one of my favorite songs of all time. i still get butterflies in my stomach (maw?) every time i hear it.

Famous Last Words
My Chemical Romance
The Black Parade

Now I know,
That I can't make you stay.
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your,

And I know.
There's nothing I can say.
To change that part.
To change that part.
To change.

So many,
Bright lights they cast a shadow,
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding,
I'm incomplete?
A life that's so demanding,
I get so weak.
A love that's so demanding,
I can't speak.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Tell me if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

Can you see?
My eyes are shining bright,
'Cause I'm out here, on the other side,
Of a jet black hotel mirror,
And I'm so weak.
Is it hard understanding?
I'm incomplete.
A love that's so demanding,
I get weak.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Tell me if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Tell me if you stay I'll be forgiven,

Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

These bright lights have always blinded me.
These bright lights have always blinded me.

I say.

I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.

Asleep, or dead...

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Tell me if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

hours to burn

so this weekend my mom took me to the mall, and it actually wasn't that bad! our original destination was jc penny to look for red skinny jeans for the TDG concert, but of course that didn't happen. after driving around in the parking lot named after flowers like "pansy," "daffodil" and "rose" for about 10 minutes, we squeezed into a small spot between a hummer and an suv. walking to the door we passed this very tall, very skinny scary looking kid wearing mels panic! sweatshirt and a long white and black scarf. he looked german. so, inside jc penny we started looking around for the jeans i had heard of, and we found them. but they were neither very red, or very skinny. it was kinda sad. we were about to ask the lady at the customer services desk if they had any other colored skinny jeans, when ron texted. he was ticked off cuz he couldn't find his car keys, and he needed to go pick up scott (who was stuck in the middle of nowhere with an overheated car). we rushed home to help, only to have mom pick up the first thing she sees and find the keys. *sigh* we went back to the mall.

instead of heading directly back to the mall, we made a stop at crossroads to pick out my confirmation ring. it think we made a good choice. its sterling silver with the words "i am the way, the truth and the life," inscribed on it in greek. we have to wait four to six weeks for it to arrive, because we had to order one to fit my chubby fingers.

at the mall, we went in a different door and proceeded to check nearly every store for skinny jeans. first stop was obviously hot topic. i found a nice pair of black skinny jeans, and nice maroon pair, but my mom thought i should wait to see if we can find actual red ones, so... no luck. we continued looking. of course along the way we picked up a skirt and a sweater for my confirmation (you have to dress very nicely) and a pair of gray jeans at old navy. when i went into the fitting rooms, i saw this guy putting the regected clothes on hangers. i knew right away that it was andrew- besides the fact that he was wearing pinstriped skinny pants. as we were leaving there, the alarm went off. we were allowed out. its not like we stole anything. but we continued to set off the alarms in EVERY SINGLE STORE AFTER THAT! they only time it didn't was when mom was holding the bag entering another store. i took the bag back after that, thinking that it would stop now. nope. of course not. as soon as i had it, it went off again.

we went back home and watched angalina jolie and denzel washington in a movie called the bone collecter, (very good btw). after that we flipped to fuse and caught 15 minutes of the hills have a two, a very nasty and disturbing horror flick about the mutants wanting to "repopulate." rather than stay and watch that, we headed to walgreens to buy mom some marshmellow easter eggs that she'd been craving. and the moment we entered the store, the alarms went off. and by now i had changed all of my clothes except for my jacket. they seemed very suspisious of us after that. they made us pay at the make-up counter, which prolly had a better view of the security camera. however, the alarm didn't go off going out.

since blockbuster was right next door, and mom and i are just the regular fun seekers, we decided to rent the new movie with hayden christiansen that just came out, called "awake." it is uber-feirce, in that dark and twisted kind of way. definatly recommended. ron came home with scott right after the movie. scott had to spend the night because him mom is out of town. when we woke up this morning, ron had to work so me and scott played super smash bros malee for over 3 hours.

*sigh* this has been a very long post, but be glad, because this will prolly be the last time i have to anything to post about for a while. i'm getting kinda tired tho. no matter what the time says at the end of this post, it is actually past 8 pm.

i'll try not to set off any alarms while i'm away...

Song of the Week

this is a song that was covered by jeff buckley, and was sung on american idol last week. i forgot how much i loved it until i heard it again...

Hallelujah
Jeff Buckley
Grace

i heard there was a secret chord
that david played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music, do you
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

hallelujah...

well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

hallelujah...

baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

i won't stand alone

this isn't really a "song of the week," so i'm leaning towards another relieve song. this is from and episode of Flight 29 Down that i just got done watchign, where jackson sings a song for the first time infront of everyone, and it is absolutly amazing. Jackson (aka Johnny Pacar) is a solo artist, so check out his myspace.

I Won't Stand Alone
Johnny Pacar

It's just another morning glory
One more twisted side
of this wild ride

another chapter in the story
but i can't hide
the way i feel inside

'cause i'm a stranger in a strange land
and i'm a million miles from my home
if i gotta i'll take my last stand

but i won't stand alone
i won't stand alone
i won't stand alone

well i won't stand alone
i won't stand alone
i won't stand alone



[http://youtube.com/watch?v=T7-0FX_Ehk4]

The Industry of Cool

i rented a movie last weekend that i found amazing enough that i thought i would tell you about it. be glad, it's a tuesday and i'm not posting about a song. it was called almost famous and it is the best movie that i have seen in a long time by far. here's the first two paragraphs of the plot line, as found on wiki.

In 1973, William Miller (Patrick Fugit) is a teenager aspiring to be a rock-and-roll journalist, despite the desires of his eccentric, overprotective mother, Elaine (Frances McDormand), who wants him to go into law. Shunned by his classmates (most of whom are two or three years older than he is), he writes for underground papers in his hometown, San Diego. He goes one morning to watch as a local radio station interviews pioneering rock journalist Lester Bangs (Philip Seymour Hoffman). The two hit it off, and Bangs gives William a $35 assignment to write up a Black Sabbath concert. William, without credentials or a ticket, cannot get into the arena. He meets up with some "Band-Aides," semi-groupies who draw the line at intercourse with rock stars (everything else is fair game) and their leader, Penny Lane (Kate Hudson). Then he runs into the opening band on the card, Stillwater, who first dismiss him as a journalist, but then take him to their hearts (and backstage) when he calls them all by their names, praises (in detail) their most recent work, and they realize he's also a fan...

this movie is pretty amazing, so check it out and BE AMAZED.

ALMOST FAMOUS QUOTES
- i'm a golden GOD!
- the only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool
- they make you feel cool. and hey- i met you. you are not cool.
- Elaine: Well there it is, your sister used the "F" word.
William: I think she said "feck."
Elaine: What's the difference?
William: The letter "u."
- of course i'm home. i'm always home. i'm uncool.
- yeah, come back here! i'm incendiary, too, man!
- is this maryann with the pot? ... hello?
- please don't give him any more acid...
- they don't even know what it is to be a fan. y'know? to truly love some silly little piece of music- or some band, so much that it hurts.
- yes it's poetry. it's the poetry of drugs and promiscuous sex. look at the picture on the cover, they're on pot!

okay, enough with the quotes- you get the point... so, check out the movie. if i know you, you will most likely not be disappointed. if i don't know you, stop blog skipping and get a life. :D

Song of the Week

the video for this song came out recently and the lyrics are fantastic- enjoy. :D

Long Road to Ruin
Foo Fighters
Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace

Here now don't make a sound
Say have you heard the news today?
One flag was taken down
To raise another in its place

A heavy cross you bear
A stubborn heart remains unchanged
No home, no life, no love
No stranger singing in your name

Maybe the season
The colours change in the valley skies
Dear God I've sealed my fate
Running through hell, heaven can wait

Long road to ruin there in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow, no dead end in sight

Let's say we take this town
No king or queen of any state
Get up to shut it down
Open the streets and raise the gates

I know one wall to scale
I know a field without a name
Head on without a care
Before it's way too late

Maybe the season
The colours change in the valley skies
Oh God I've sealed my fate
Running through hell, heaven can wait

Long road to ruin there in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow, no dead ends

Long road to ruin there in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow, no dead end in sight

For every piece to fall in place
Forever gone without a trace
Your horizon takes its shape
No turning back, don't turn that page

Come now, I'm leaving here tonight
Come now, let's leave it all behind
Is that the price you pay?
Running through hell, heaven can wait

Long road to ruin there in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow, no dead ends

Long road to ruin there in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow, no dead ends

Long road to ruin there in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow, no dead end in sight

Song of the Week

All Over You
The Spill Canvas
No Really, I'm Fine

Yeah he's a looker,
but I really think it's
guts that matter most.

I displayed them for you,
strewn out about
from coast to coast.

I am easily make believe,
just dress me up in what
you want me to be.
I'll take back what I've been
saying for quite some time now.

I gotta feel you
in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.

I wanna taste you
one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.

In my daydreams, in my sleep,
infatuation turning into disease.
You could cure me, see all you have to do now
is please try.

Give it your best shot and try.
All I'm asking for is love,
but you never seem to have enough.

I gotta feel you
in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.

I wanna taste you
one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.

This life is way too short
to get caught up in all this stuff
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?

Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you just love)

I gotta feel you
in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.

I wanna taste you
one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.

This life is way too short
to get caught up and all mixed up
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?

Why won't you just love me back?
Why can't you just love me back?

EXPIRED

well this has been a long... interesting weekend. i hope you had a good one, cuz school starts again tomorrow. yay. :P um... so where to start. i'm babysitting devil child right now, (double yay), which kinda gives me something to do. but might get to watch movies. ooo, that's something to talk about. im gunna list all the movies i have watched/rented to watch this weekend.

watched
the Last Kiss
Children of Men
Martian Child
She's the Man
The Breakfast Club

rented
Children of Men
I now Pronounce you Chuck & Larry
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Almost Famous
Martian Child
The Bourne Ultimatum

we (as in my mom, manirexic brother, possibly bipolar sister and i) went to the mall this morning. we were early enough to watch the chain gates protecting any shopliftable valuables from being snatched, and to be the first into hot topic. it was a beautiful thing. 'course they didn't have the sizes that i wanted in the most amazing shirts, and the only thing i left with was a couple cheaply expensive guitar picks. ron however was having a feild-day. he bought 86.96$ worth of collision super skinny jeans and flannel. i knew this day would come...

in other news, i got my ears peirced. that was fun. let me just say that the pinch and the shooting, burning feeling are exactly as i remember them. but guess what?! the kill was playing over the radio while i was getting tortured. jared was with me. in a none creepy way. i caught "a beautiful lie" on fuse for about the 7th time this weekend, too. i seriously forgot how much i love them. <3 it was closly followed by "nine in the afternoon," and "never too late," so that kinda made my freakish day.

well my sister's in the shower (yes! FREEDOM!), so the dvd player is free. i'm planning on using my freetime wisely. maybe i'll hold a rave in the kitchen.

Song of the Week

i found this band when i was looking at the music credits for the Invisible. i looked up the video for this song, and i really liked it... great movie, too.

Fashionably Uninvited
Mellowdrone
Box (?)

All of these folks
On the tv have their reasons
Like you on your hill
Consuming en masse with your buddies

Evertyime I watch them all go by
I take in a breath and let out a sigh
I don't know how much of this
i can handle

Excuse me is my rant taking too long?
Is it getting in the way of this lovely song?
Just promise me that you'll never leave

I'd die if you leave me

When I was young
All of these things didn't matter
But now times have changed
And I wasn't paying attention

So fuck you and your mass media toys
That make being alive seem like a chore
I don't know how much of this i can handle

Excuse me is my rant taking too long?
Is it getting in the way of this lovely song?
Just promise me that you'll never leave

I'd die if you leave me

what you might not have known...

1.) life sucks
2.) friends are pretty amazing
3.) praying helps
4.) the days just get longer
5.) i hate people sometimes
6.) science is a love/hate relationship
7.) i am the least patriotic person in america
8.) music is my alibi, cofidante and escape
9.) watching random talent show acts on youtube is a great pass time
10.) if you don't say it right off the bat, it's never gunna happen
11.) some things shouldn't be said at all
12.) the best part of a musical is auditioning
13.) concert tickets can turn black in extreme tempatures :(
14.) fighting sucks
15.) sometimes there is too much to say with not enough time to say it

maximus american idolize party in pantus!

i am so glad that footloose auditions are OVER! don't ask how i did, i really couldn't tell you.... courtney, scott and i waited in the auditorium after the dance auditions for the dry read for like ... an hour and forty five minutes. it was pretty much fantastic to watch. me and courtney were the last girls to go on stage. we were just giving a short script that you would act out with a couple other people. it wasn't too bad. we left right after, and can i just say that it was fugging freazing! especially when you have to hold off freakin' pneumonia while looking for the car keys in the snow.

i didn't know pastors could have fun...

but today it was proven to me. i had to get up at 7:18 (yes that's what i set my alarm for) and i went to church at 8:00 for a happy, up-beat, make me feel nausious 4 hr session of youth band. that was fun. i look bored up on stage, according to my loving family members. anyway, i have to sneeze, so i'm gunna get to the point and post this so i don't have to spend the rest of the night cleaning my key board. i looked over at my pastor, who was behind a little screen thing when we were playing. she was totally rockin' out. and she thought no one could see her... :D

Song of the Week

just because of my recent buffy spree (yes i'm an effin' geek) i figured i'd do a song from the infamous musical episode. feel free to watch it on youtube if you don't own it...

Something to Sing About
The Cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Once More, With Feeling (yes, there is an album)

Life’s a show,
And we all play our parts,
And when the music starts,
We open up our hearts.

Its alright if something’s come out wrong,
We’ll sing a happy song,
And you can sing along.
Where there’s life, there hope

Everysdays a gift,
Wishes can come true,
Whistle while you work,
So hard all day…

To be like other girls,
To fit in, in this glittering world.

Don’t give me songs,
Don’t give me songs.

Give me something to sing about.

Anya and Tara:
Ah ah ah ahhhhhh

Buffy:
I need something to sing about….

Anya and Tara:
Ah ah ah ahhhhhh

Buffy:
Life’s a song,
You don’t get to rehearse,
And every single verse,
Can make it that mush worse.

Still my friends,
Don’t know why I ignore…
The million things or more,
I should be dancing for.

All the joy,
Life ends.
Family and friends
All the twists and bends,
Knowing that it ends.
Well that depends….

On if they let you go,
On if they know enough to know,
that when u vow,
You leave the crowd.

There was no pain.
No fear,
No doubt,
Till they pulled me out,
Of heaven.

So that’s my refrain,
I live in hell,
Cause I’ve been expelled from heaven.
I think I was in heaven

So give me something to sing about,
Please, give me something…

Spike:
Life’s not a song,
Life isn’t bliss
Life is just this,
It’s living.

You’ll get along,
The pain that you feel
Only can heal,
By living.

You have to go on living,
So one of us is living.



it was surprisingly hard to choose one of the songs to post, so do me a favor and listen to all of them. :D

A BEAUTIFUL LIE

finally! it's out! after waiting for so long, and about 3 delays. i can no longer hate jared. in fact, i love him! :D it's being retarded and won't let me put the link in, but you guys are smart, you can prolly figure it out...

her room smells like gingersnap

for those of you who know miss wallenberg, you know she is satan. :D that's prolly not a very nice thing to say, and if she happens to be one of those people who blog surf and she comes across this blog (or yours kait), we will be the next on her list of kids to eat. but for now i think we're okay, her room was rather... spicy today, so no worries.

i must say that this week has been the worst fucking week in a long time for me. pardon my word choice, but i needed something strong. first off, geometry sucks. i don't really need to elaborate on that, except for the fact that i sit behind chuwey and next to this guy that makes some really weird sounds and breaths really loud without realizing it. talk about annoying. he has bad acne, too. i've also contracted and horrible, aching disease by the name of "acute viral nasopharyngitis" (a.k.a. the common cold). don't laugh. it sucks, and this comes from someone who hardly ever got sick before this year. maybe wally is poisening me with her fragrences. also, yesterday after a vigerous game of valleyball in hellth and wellness, i returned to my locker to find that someone had switched my lock. i had to go around trying all the locks that looked like mine to see if i could find it. thankfully, another girl was having trouble w/ her lock, and i told her to put in my combo and we found out that our locks had been swapped. i'm gunna find out who did that and get them all wallenbergs bad side. then we'll see what happens.

in other news, the whole posse, rich, zoey and i are trying out for the spring play, FOOTLOOSE. wish us luck.

Song of the Week

this is a great album, check it out if you haven't already...

Alley Cat
Sherwood
A Different Light

Oh I've been going through a hell of a time
Making sense of all that you left behind
When I arrange it into columns and lines
I always think it's adding up, but it never does
So in the morning maybe I'll be alright
And through the day I'll prepare for the fight
With a fever on a Saturday night
Cause this is giving me the shakes and butterflies, oh

And if you don't stop running you can never breathe
When everything you want is everything you see
But when it comes to decision baby, him or me
Well I hope you can feel the need

What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off to where your next big meal could be
What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off because you must be tired of me
Run off because you must be tired of me

And there's a scene I will always replay
At the moment when my hand touched your face
I could see your eyes turning away
But I've been standing my ground with you babe

And if you don't stop running you can never breathe
When everything you want is everything you see
But when it comes to decision baby, him or me
Well I hope you can feel the need

What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off to where your next big meal could be
What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off because you must be tired of me
Run off because you must be tired of me

And now I fall in love with somebody everyday
As they step aside when I'm walking by, or smile at something I say
But I promised you it would never get in the way
Of stability but the joke's on me
cause you were the one who got carried away
Oh, you got carried away
Well he carried you away, oh
Carried you away, oh
Carried you away
Carried you away

i saw david bowie in the window

i'm dead tired after my day at inspiration hills, but i love my friends and wish to keep them undated. first off...

brandi
...kinda speaks for itself right? lets face it, siblings can be a nightmare. take last week for example. it was the night after it had started snowing again, so even though my mom and brother had shoveled that morning, there was already and nice little layer of powder on the ground. i told mom that me and brandi would shovel ('cause that's the wonderful little daughter that i am). me and my sister were home alone and after we finished eating, we began piling on the layers for the task ahead. devil-child decides that she doesn't want to wear boots, but instead her big clunky high- heeled ... i don't even know what to call them. so i told her that she needed to wear actual boots, and of course she decided that she didn't want to. i didn't feel like arguing, so i just said fine, i'll shovel by myself. i walked out of the house shutting the door behind me. after getting about 1/8 done with the driveway, i hear the door slam and brandi say, "um, lissa? we're locked out." now if you haven't guessed, it's fuggin freazing outside! we had to finish the driveway then waddle like retarded penguins over to my neighbors house where we phoned my mom. thank heaven they're not creepy people.... well...

inspiration hills
i had a lot of fun so far this weekend. i got back to sioux falls about... 4:52 hours ago. like i said, i am so tired. we left for the retreat at about 6:45 friday night and got there about 7:50. it's a pretty awesome place, completely beautiful in the winter. i wish i had a camera. if you didn't know this, i was asked to bring my guitar and of course that ment playing infront of my confermation-mates. when my youth director called me up, everyone seemed surprised, like "what the hell is she doing?" except not quite that, it was a church group after all. this whole weekend basically consisted of talking, playing guitar, listeing to a drama game that involved a lot of screaming, singing, praying and playing with fire. all in all, it was pretty great.

also, if anyone was wondering about the title, it has a point. we got to inspiration hills by school bus, and there was frost on the window, but it had started to melt in patches. i caught a glimpse of the window across from me in a streetlight and i swear i saw david bowie (more ziggy stardust) in the window. here's kinda what it looked like:

Song of the Week

um... i should prolly stop making fun of david bowie now, cuz i heard this song on the radio and i kinda like it.

Space Oddity
David Bowie

Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills
and put your helmet on

Ground Control to Major Tom
Commencing countdown,
engines on
Check ignition
and may God's love be with you

[spoken]
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five,
Four, Three, Two, One, Liftoff

This is Ground Control
to Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave the capsule
if you dare

This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating
in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past
one hundred thousand miles
I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much
she knows

Ground Control to Major Tom
Your circuit's dead,
there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you....

Here am I floating
round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do.

why is your sock underneath my bed?

thanks mel. okay um... not really much to talk about. well, actually i'm sure there is, like the fact that mel's sweater guy was wearing VERY short shorts today and i therefore will never be the same again-- but say we shall avoid that topic and just pretend that it never happened.

um... lunch has officially become the most awkward "class" of the day, and that is including reproduction in bio and sex ed in health and wellness. the reason? jordynn and madhie envited kevin to sit at our lunch table. he is situated between zoey and elias (which, as you might well know, is not a safe place).

just to fill in some room here... i felt nausious during study. i was reading, then i began to feel like i was gunna throw up, then my face felt really hot, like feverish and i started shaking. it got better when i sat down at lunch tho so, all's well that end's well.

Song of the Week

okay, this song of the week is off the Juno soundtrack. it is so awesome! we were laughing so hard when we first heard it!

Loose Lips
Kimya Dawson
Juno

Loose lips might sink ships but loose gooses take trips
To San Francisco, double dutch disco
Tech TV hottie, do it for Scotty
Do it for the living and do it for the dead
Do it for the monsters under your bed
Do it for the teenagers and do it for your mom
Broken hearts hurt but they make us strong, and

We won't stop until somebody calls the cops
And even then we'll start again and just pretend
That nothing ever happened

We won't stop until somebody calls the cops
And even then we'll start again and just pretend
That nothing ever happened

We're just dancing, we're just hugging
Singing, screaming, kissing, tugging
On the sleeve of how it used to be
How's it gonna be?

I'll drop kick Russell Stover
Move into the starting over house
And know Matt Rouse and Jest
Are watching me achieve my dreams

And we'll pray all damn day, every day
That all this shit our president has got us in will go away
While we strive to figure out a way we can survive
These trying times without losing our minds

So if you wanna burn yourself
Remember that I LOVE YOU
And if you wanna cut yourself
Remember that I LOVE YOU
And if you wanna kill yourself
Remember that I LOVE YOU
Call me up before you're dead
We can make some plans instead
Send me an IM, I'll be your friend

Shysters live from scheme to scheme
And my 3/4 pipe dreams
Are seeming more and more worth fighting for
So I'll curate some situations, make my job a big vacation
And I'll say FUCK BUSH AND FUCK THIS WAR

My war paint is sharpie ink
And I'll show you how much my shit stinks
And ask you what you think
Because your thoughts and words are powerful

They think we're disposable
Well both my thumbs opposable
Are spelled out on a double word
And triple letter score

We won't stop until somebody calls the cops
And even then we'll start again and just pretend
That nothing ever happened

We won't stop until somebody calls the cops
And even then we'll start again and just pretend
That nothing ever happened

We're just dancing, we're just hugging
Singing, screaming, kissing, tugging
On the sleeve of how it used to be

Song of the Week

this is a really good song of the album i just bought by Emery. they lyrics are amazing, but listen to the song, it will rip your face off. (*sigh* poor mr. c and his laundry problems)

Can't Stop the Killer
Emery
I'm Only a Man

You'll raise the daughter
and she'll raise a son
You'll live like two people
that wish they were one
She may not be perfect,
but oh my friend neither are you

You feel like you're waiting
for somebody to
remind you of all the things
that you're supposed to do
Careful what you reach for,
one more step and you're falling through

Your family's a joke
and your job is your life
The time spent without them
is time spent most every night
Get your house in order
'cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride

you can't stop...
you can't stop the killer

you can't stop...
you can't stop the killer

I work my hands
right down to the bone-
still you don't give me what I want
You are so ungrateful,
we're more like a house than a home, oh

Please dear understand,
I'm sorry again for all that I said
How could you leave?
I swear that I'll be a better man

Well, go ahead and run, run,
run from the man with the gun in his hand
Darling I would shoot you before
I would ever let you leave
Oh, dear God

In a certain place I've kept my outs,
one for us both, two for my doubts,
I'm shaking
I'm hollow
because I know how to get this done
so I will be the only to follow,
to follow through

In a certain place I've kept my outs,
one for us both, two for my doubts
I'm shaking
I'm hollow
because I know how to get this done
so I will be the only one to follow,
to follow through with this

You kneel beside her
at the foot of the grave
Your daughter is crying
and you say she's in a better place
She was never perfect,
oh, my friend, neither were you.

go stick your head somewhere and relax!

it's been awhile. can't say that you've missed much (shocking!). ron seems very chipper today though. that's pretty exciting. here's the hightlights of my time away from you.

new year
me and my mom stayed up until past twelve watching The Heartbreak Kid, and 1408. both extremely good, and both rated R. don't let that stop you, they are must sees. i am sorry to say that i have no ny's resolution though. i dunno why. but it's kinda nice, cuz then i can focus on getting better at more then just one thing. i don't think i could choose one resolution anyway.

Juno.
this is a freaken' AWESOMEFUL movie! i am absolutly in love with it, from the faux gansta cachier, down to the rocking indie soundtrack. i love it. ron won't stop talking about it either. i wanna go see it again and again and again and again and again.

money
when the holidays ended i had about 130 dollars. i am now down to 36. i think i misplaced a fifty and i bought a couple hoodies and a couple cds... but still! what happened to it all?!?!?!?!

cds
i feel the need to list the cds that i own. it is very new to me, since i don't usual buy a live copy.

I'm Only a Man - Emery (very good! check song of the week)
Take This to Your Grave - Fall Out Boy
Sawdust - The Killers
One-X - Three Days Grace
A Beaufiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars (awwww! <3>

school
i haven listed all of the people that i have classes with, so i'll go through my sceduale quick.

i have first period (biology) with k, jesse, austin, and a girl named morgan. sisky guy was in our class to, but he moved. second period (cardio fitness) i have class with damon, lyssa, and i often see mels sweater guy. third period (english) i have class with kait. four a (study) i have class with zoey ( :] x 10 ), and four b (lunch) i sit with zoey, maddy, maddie, jordynn, rich and elias and his friend. fifth period (band) i have class with maddy and kait, as usual. not that i sit by either.... sixth period (geometry) i have lyssa in my class, but we don't have time to talk. it's these times when i miss sitting next to ron. last period i have health and wellness with grace and damon.

right at this very second
i'm wearing my jared hat and it makes me feel very gangsta