for those of you who know miss wallenberg, you know she is satan. :D that's prolly not a very nice thing to say, and if she happens to be one of those people who blog surf and she comes across this blog (or yours kait), we will be the next on her list of kids to eat. but for now i think we're okay, her room was rather... spicy today, so no worries.
i must say that this week has been the worst fucking week in a long time for me. pardon my word choice, but i needed something strong. first off, geometry sucks. i don't really need to elaborate on that, except for the fact that i sit behind chuwey and next to this guy that makes some really weird sounds and breaths really loud without realizing it. talk about annoying. he has bad acne, too. i've also contracted and horrible, aching disease by the name of "acute viral nasopharyngitis" (a.k.a. the common cold). don't laugh. it sucks, and this comes from someone who hardly ever got sick before this year. maybe wally is poisening me with her fragrences. also, yesterday after a vigerous game of valleyball in hellth and wellness, i returned to my locker to find that someone had switched my lock. i had to go around trying all the locks that looked like mine to see if i could find it. thankfully, another girl was having trouble w/ her lock, and i told her to put in my combo and we found out that our locks had been swapped. i'm gunna find out who did that and get them all wallenbergs bad side. then we'll see what happens.
in other news, the whole posse, rich, zoey and i are trying out for the spring play, FOOTLOOSE. wish us luck.
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[welcome.]
navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...
1 comment:
She'd prolly find mine too... I've elaborated on the evil-ness that is Mrs. Wallenberg on more than one occasion. LUCK!!!
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