Thursday, August 28, 2008

signmyspool.org

i don't know about you, but i am definately looking forward to the long weekend- mostly sleeping in. i will be perfectly happy if i never have to wake up before 6am ever again in my life. its just not worth it... marching band is fun and all, but the whole "controlling ever aspect of your life" thing i will not miss next year. enough about that- lets talk about the fun stuff! school! *gag* i am so going to fail. chemistry is getting confusing- and having mr. bechard doesn't help. i swear i wore a trail in the chemistry room floor going from my seat to his desk. it makes me feel stupid having to ask all of these questions. hes nice an all, but really boring and doesn't explain all that well. and then there is always allgebra 11, which for the first time ever actually got hard today. stupid graphing with the stupid absolutes. oh and if those two classes fail to ruin my life, my hopes and dreams can still be crushed by the boot of accelerated english 11. it seems simple in essence, but wow. she expects specific things and i might having trouble complying in the following year... i guess we'll see. uhg. wish me luck!

xoxo

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Schedule

SEMESTER 1
Early History of Mankind- Morrison
Algebra 11- Timmerman
Acc English 11- Klawonn
Design- Beilke
Lit Lab/Lunch- Klawonn* (i have no idea what "lit lab" is and i can garrentee that i did NOT sign up for it...)
Concert Band- C.
Chemistry- Bechard

SEMESTER 11
Algebra 11- Timmerman
Speech- Hayes
Chemistry- Bechard
Lit Lab/Lunch- Bull*
Web Page Design- Wooledge
Acc English 11- Klawonn
Varsity Band- Carlson*


well that should be an exciting year. lunch with nobody, classes with nobody... just another year at lincoln.

*- needs to be changed.

[welcome.]

navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...