Wednesday, May 28, 2008

you paint my world

wow i haven't posted in a while. not much has happened in the past week though. more problems with the van of course, but thats old news. i've been txting like crazy too, since mel just got a fone. I'M FREAKIN' EXCITED for the panic! concert. duh. i do of course still have to get my tickets. i'm pretty sure we're doing that later today. we just got a grill. that was horrible in every way possible. so much went wRONg. the food tastes great though. uhg... my eyes hurt after playing rock band for 5 hours yesterday. i'm proud to say that i can almost pass any song on hard. WOOT WOOT! well, i guess i don't have that much to talk about besides that. summer's pretty boring when you have no life...
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1 comment:

.m..a..d..d..y. said...

jeez, have you fallen off the face of the planet? You should post some more! surely something's happened!

June 25, 2008 at 4:27 PM

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[welcome.]

navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...