personally, i've always liked thunderstorms. when i was just a little pink thing in my mommy's insides, my mom said i started kicking whenever there was thunder. and i'm telling you, it was not in fright. i don't really know what it is about them, i just love it to death. i could watch the rain fall for hours, though this usually easier when you're above ground. the rain was awesome last night, the tornado warning's that came with it, not so much. mom kinda freaked out and ushured me and brandi and the cats down to the basement. you never notice how bad a room smells until you are forced to be in there. i kept sneaking upstairs to take a breath of fresh air and watch the hail that was now pouring from the sky. man that stuff can bounce! i spent most of the hour texting people and looking at my dads old records. i'm glad it was over quick, but it was enough to freak out my sister...
(just so you know, what i'm about to say is pretty much completely pointless and very random. if you don't want to read it NAVIGATE AWAY FROM THIS PAGE NOW. for those of you just got very curious with what i had to say, feel free to read on.
so on the way home from school today, we were taking the usual route and all, but up ahead i saw this guy riding his bike. that might seem normal, but what i found funny was he was wearing a see-through garbage bag and smoking a cigarrette. he reminded me of "mohawk guy" from TDG, and he didn't even have hair.
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[welcome.]
navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...
7 comments:
So you saw me too huh? Damn, what a fun bike ride!
Storms used to scare the crap out of me as a child. I chalk it up to my overprotective mother who used to make us sit in the shower with beanbags over our heads. Wonderful childhood. Anyway, I'm glad you survived without any major head injuries! (You know, new ones.)
kait... jeez i got a little worried there for a second-- do you know how creepy that would be?
stetts, your mom is amazing... haha.
rek, i don't really have anything to say except that blue really isn't the best in the color palet. It's a little eastery. which has passed... anyways, off to do oral interp.... which i haven't done yet...
FAIL!
love you tho! it a normal way
JEEZ! what color should i do then?!?!? urg, i'm gunna do a poll...
Don't listen to Maddy. Her blog is ugly green and purple. (sorry Maddy, it's just not my favorite color combo.) I like the blue. Except the top thingy bugs me cause it's yellow and pink in the corner. You should fix that.
i can't fix that, its just an inverted version of the original
i could make a new one
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