so i guess the oral interp thing wasn't all that bad. the waiting was horrific, and so was being the last to go on the first day, and knowing that everyone is staring at you and watching you and waiting for you to either do unexpectedly great or unexpectedly bad, and knowing that you will be compared to the people that have gone before you and messing up and embaressing yourself and shaking with nerves the whole time... but other then that it wasn't all bad. i mean, watching them was pretty fun, right?
its kind of hard to believe that this school year only has 4 full days left. i guess i'm looking forward to being a sophmore (its not like its gunna feel much different). my only worry is that i a.) won't have lunch with anybody or b.) my classes suck butt and have a lot of homework and no entertaining people. i'm kind of looking forward to marching band, but not in a geeky way. the reasons being the trip through NJ to NY for Macys, and shopping (not in a superficial valley girl way) in the amazing shops there. it should be fun seeing all those people and doing all these things and having a big dinner with all of the band people on my birthday too. maybe it won't be as bad as it first seems being away from the fam then... i dunno, either way, there is no way that i would miss this. and going to hard rock cafe is a bonus. is anyone else getting as excited as i am? we only have to get through spat camp first...
this is a list of the classes that i signed up for next year, but i have no clue what teacher or what period i'll have them. i'll post that later, and if you have a blog you have to do it too. :D
Concert Band
Chemestry
Acc. English II
World History of Mankind
Algebra II
Design/Drawing (i'm not sure which)
have a good LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL PEOPLE! charish this moment because it only comes once a year. duh.
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[welcome.]
navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...
2 comments:
well... twice for some people
Spat camp... ughghghg
i can already feel the heat just thinking about it...
hi... um... yeah, that's about it. hi.
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