it's been awhile. can't say that you've missed much (shocking!). ron seems very chipper today though. that's pretty exciting. here's the hightlights of my time away from you.
new year
me and my mom stayed up until past twelve watching The Heartbreak Kid, and 1408. both extremely good, and both rated R. don't let that stop you, they are must sees. i am sorry to say that i have no ny's resolution though. i dunno why. but it's kinda nice, cuz then i can focus on getting better at more then just one thing. i don't think i could choose one resolution anyway.
Juno.
this is a freaken' AWESOMEFUL movie! i am absolutly in love with it, from the faux gansta cachier, down to the rocking indie soundtrack. i love it. ron won't stop talking about it either. i wanna go see it again and again and again and again and again.
money
when the holidays ended i had about 130 dollars. i am now down to 36. i think i misplaced a fifty and i bought a couple hoodies and a couple cds... but still! what happened to it all?!?!?!?!
cds
i feel the need to list the cds that i own. it is very new to me, since i don't usual buy a live copy.
I'm Only a Man - Emery (very good! check song of the week)
Take This to Your Grave - Fall Out Boy
Sawdust - The Killers
One-X - Three Days Grace
A Beaufiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars (awwww! <3>
school
i haven listed all of the people that i have classes with, so i'll go through my sceduale quick.
i have first period (biology) with k, jesse, austin, and a girl named morgan. sisky guy was in our class to, but he moved. second period (cardio fitness) i have class with damon, lyssa, and i often see mels sweater guy. third period (english) i have class with kait. four a (study) i have class with zoey ( :] x 10 ), and four b (lunch) i sit with zoey, maddy, maddie, jordynn, rich and elias and his friend. fifth period (band) i have class with maddy and kait, as usual. not that i sit by either.... sixth period (geometry) i have lyssa in my class, but we don't have time to talk. it's these times when i miss sitting next to ron. last period i have health and wellness with grace and damon.
right at this very second
i'm wearing my jared hat and it makes me feel very gangsta
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[welcome.]
navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...
2 comments:
yeah, but it only LOOKS gangsta on me...ron was talking about juno all day at lunch too.
yea, he's obsessed
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