Saturday, January 26, 2008

Song of the Week



this is a great album, check it out if you haven't already...

Alley Cat
Sherwood
A Different Light

Oh I've been going through a hell of a time
Making sense of all that you left behind
When I arrange it into columns and lines
I always think it's adding up, but it never does
So in the morning maybe I'll be alright
And through the day I'll prepare for the fight
With a fever on a Saturday night
Cause this is giving me the shakes and butterflies, oh

And if you don't stop running you can never breathe
When everything you want is everything you see
But when it comes to decision baby, him or me
Well I hope you can feel the need

What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off to where your next big meal could be
What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off because you must be tired of me
Run off because you must be tired of me

And there's a scene I will always replay
At the moment when my hand touched your face
I could see your eyes turning away
But I've been standing my ground with you babe

And if you don't stop running you can never breathe
When everything you want is everything you see
But when it comes to decision baby, him or me
Well I hope you can feel the need

What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off to where your next big meal could be
What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off because you must be tired of me
Run off because you must be tired of me

And now I fall in love with somebody everyday
As they step aside when I'm walking by, or smile at something I say
But I promised you it would never get in the way
Of stability but the joke's on me
cause you were the one who got carried away
Oh, you got carried away
Well he carried you away, oh
Carried you away, oh
Carried you away
Carried you away
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[welcome.]

navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...