Sunday, March 9, 2008

Song of the Week



this is a song that was covered by jeff buckley, and was sung on american idol last week. i forgot how much i loved it until i heard it again...

Hallelujah
Jeff Buckley
Grace

i heard there was a secret chord
that david played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music, do you
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

hallelujah...

well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

hallelujah...

baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...
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[welcome.]

navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...