Saturday, December 15, 2007

Song of the Week



yes, i am also surprised that i actually am making this post. its either this or watching the notebook with my mom. sorry, i just won't go there today. i don't feel like crying.

Let Me Go
3 Doors Down
Seventeen Days

One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me
but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead
and where I stand

And you love me
but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me
but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead
and where I stand

You love me
but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me go...
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I knowI knowww...
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one
who knows, who knows

You love me
but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead
and where I stand

And you love me
but you don't know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

And you love me but you don't-
You love me but you don't-
You love me but you don't
know who I am

And you love me but you don't-
You love me but you don't-
You love me but you don't know me
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[welcome.]

navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...