Wednesday, January 14, 2009

so.

so. i'm sitting here in webpage design. i already finished what we were supposed to do today, so i figured i'd ramble for a little while on my blog. aren't you priviledged. :D you can probably expect this to happen a lot, so check back here regularly for weekly rants and music and movies and... yeah. blog stuff!

as you will notice, my blog looks a little different then it did a week ago. i like the change, don't you? i plan on using the photoshop on this computer whenever i get the chance, just to spice up the layout a little bit. i already have pictures and ideas, so this should be fun!

so... i'd better go. it feels like i'm doing someting illegal by blogging during class. oh well.

ttyl! (illegally...)

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[welcome.]

navigating around the school hallways and seeing the people walk by, i look into their faces. i notice their hair color, whether they wear glasses, what color eyes they have, who they walk with... its corny, but i try to look past all of that, too. once and awhile its nice for someone as shy as me to pass another person in the hall, a complete stranger no less, who dares to make eye contact and sends my heart into flutters. i can't help thinking, "that person saw me." but its not really the act of "seeing" itself, its more the act of "searching," that means most to me. i feel lost. i feel disposable; a picture frame that gets a scratch across the glass and is thrown away, just to be replaced. i don't really have a problem with that, i don't feel like i need to be pitied or ... that i need to seek attention. its the replacement that bothers me. i want to offer something that no one else can, i just haven't found that thing yet. this is just the ramblings of a high school no one who likes to watch rather then do. i like to think of myself as rather quiet, yet excitable and fun to be around. but there's always that underlying feeling of unease and awkwardness, that i've only been able to overcome a few times in my life. i don't want to change who i am. i don't want others to pretend to see in me what they don't. i want people to see the bad side of me, and spend the time searching for the good. i look for the best in others, and often times face the flaws in myself. welcome to my public diary...